Oh Baby...

Well, I'm a dad.

It is official. There really was a baby inside my wife.

It is intense. When she first came out, via C-Section... wait let me back up and say this first...

My wife is my hero, honestly, any woman who has given birth, and gone through the pain is awesome, but I'm talking about my lady for a minute here. I have never been so proud of someone than I was of my wife to enduring that pain not only for the near 10 months of carrying that kid around but for the amount of strength she had stored deep within the loins of her soul. I mean it was so hard for me to watch, as a man, you just want to take all of your families pains away and carry them on your own, it hurt me to watch her. As I held her hands as contraction after contraction hit her like a mack truck, (which by the way is the professional doctorate way to rate pain, they literally say "How would you rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being slight pain, 10 being hit by a mack truck.") As that mack truck steam rolled my wife I could literally somehow feel the pain, it was weird. Then the epidural, my Lord, the epidural, people make jokes about how big the needle is, this was that joke needle, I thought at first, how cliche... this must be were that joke came from- but no, it was for reals. That needle was so big-how big was it- that needle was so big even Courtney Love didn't want to use it... ha anyway... Seriously like 8 inches long, and before they put it in, they numb the area around it with like a 4 inch needle, so she had that in her back like 6 times before they even do the real deal! They finally get ready for the epidural and my wife nearly breaks my hand, I'm not kidding- She squeezed my hand so hard-how hard was it- it was so hard that Will Hunting was standing there scratching his head... anyway, it hurt. The pain that woman went through just for that was astonishing, I have never been more proud of anyone.

Through the pain and the tears, it was all totally worth it. ONCE. One time is it. It's not worth it more than once, and if you have more than one kid, you are nuts. There is no need to put your wife through that ever again fellas. Seriously, youre crazy if you have more than one kid. I don't have any sympathy for people with 2+ kids, you did it to yourselves.

Let me tell you this, there is no english nanny that magically appears when you have a baby. She doesnt just show up at your house one day to save the day and let you go to sleep. No, No, No, No.... you are IT buddy. Everyone says, "Say bye bye to sleep!" and that is a fact. Now, I cannot go off on this too much because my wife and I have a great compromise, I work all day and she is stays home with Paisleigh. Which means, I come home give my wife about a 5 hour break, and then I get to go to sleep at night, which breaks my heart. Honestly it does. I feel horrible about it, but I know that if I don't sleep I will end up in prison for murdering everyone at my office which I don't want to do. My wife is a real trooper. She is stronger than I am, maybe not as in lifting heavier things-(John Mayer)(If you don't get it, just keep reading) but mentally she is amazing. I just cannot do anything but praise this woman for being such an amazing Mom. I could not do it.

Things you should know about babies:
1. All those outfits you bought, won't ever use all of them, take some back.
2. Family visits are amazing, lets you get sleep, and they take care of baby 100% of the visit because they want to hold her as much as possible
3. Buy Stock in this http://www.blairex.com/BLButtPaste.php
4. Crying doesn't always mean somethings wrong, chill out.
5. It's awesome to push babies in strollers, its sooo fun!
6. Always have clean Nipples... (for bottles...sicko)